Day and Night

What inspired today’s post? Well, after abandoning Johnny Law for a week I told him I’d take him out on a date to do whatever he wanted as a reward for all of his hard work. The exchange went something like this.

Me: “My treat- where do you want to go…I’ll take you out to do anything you want.”

Johnny Law: “Well, I was thinking…maybe we could go see Toy Story?”

Me: “That’s really all you wanna do, I’ll take you to do anything and you pick an animated movie…but ok, Toy Story it is.”

Johnny Law: “Can we see it in 3D?”

Me: “Sure, we can splurge for 3D. Maybe I’ll even sneak some snacks in for you and your 5-year-old friends.”

So we did, and it was awesome. In fact, just like all the other animated movies coming out these days we almost shed some tears. In true Pixar style there was a great short animated movie before Toy Story called Day and Night. Here’s a sneak peek:

As I was uploading some photos from the past month I noticed that I’ve been riding the fun bus while Johnny Law’s daily highlight has been his thermos of black coffee each morning. Pretty sad- pretty much like night and day.

In my defense, I’m really trying to get out of the house/out of the city limits as much as possible as to not distract Johnny Law any more than necessary. Four years of my working and him being a student has proven that even if I’m minding my own business, as soon as he catches my scent back in our house I’m a distraction.

And now, a photo montage..

Drinking buckets of booze with JP in Denver...my version of fun

Hanging out with a Storm Trooper...Johnny Law's version of fun.

And this is why I usually don’t post photos of ourselves..we look like idiots.

Attempt #1- Johnny Law looks creepy/drunk even though he's only creepy. I look a little high.

#2- We really tried for creepy this time. I lost as usual.

#3- Johnny Law hangs me out to dry by posing nicely.

The end.

Bar Exam Vocab Test

Get out your paper and pencils children

..well I won’t go quite that far.

Today I thought I’d share a few of the new terms that have been introduced into our household. No no no, these aren’t legal terms that actually mean something once you figure them out, they’re gibberish that I’m almost ashamed to admit are used by us on a regular basis.

Even though I work with “normal” non-bar taking people every day, it didn’t occur to me that I’d adapted this geek-speak until coming home after being out of town for a week.

WAG’s: Wives and girlfriends of people taking the bar. I didn’t make this one up; it came from one of our friends who successfully used it in a sentence on the 4th of July. We were commiserating over how depressed our significant others had become and how we needed to ban together!

Bromance: This isn’t unique to the bar exam. It’s the term I affectionately use for the relationship Johnny Law has formed with another one of his fellow test takers. This particular bromance includes meeting up every morning (even at 9am on weekends) to do practice essays, as well as playing pickup basketball outside of the law school during the 10 minute breaks between lectures..I don’t think I need to worry about it blossoming into anything more than this—but then again I guess you never know.

Since I stole this definition from pop culture, I’ve also included the urban dictionary definition here:

A non-sexual relationship between two straight men that are unusually close.

Bar-brained: What Johnny Law is when I get home at night and he starts rambling about a combination of subjects covered that day and real life. Neither of them makes sense, and these conversations typically end once Johnny Law realizes I’ve left the room completely or have just tuned out. Also see bar-fried, bar-buzzed…I could go on all day, but I won’t.

By my best calculations, it looks like Johnny Law’s only got 22 days left until this whole mess is over…if only I had a deloreon.

How Does Skymall Stay In Business?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever purchased something from Sky Mall.

For those of you who haven’t flown in a while, its that flimsy in-flight magazine that sells the CHEESIEST gadgets ever. I haven’t actually looked through this magazine in years, but I finished my book with a half hour left in my flight back home so I resorted to browsing through it. If you can top any of these stupid inventions I’ll give you $5.

When did it become acceptable for dogs to lie on the couch, let alone have their own staircase?

Hate to break it to you, but for $180 I'm thinking you should NOT order more inventory.

My question, what good is an Underwater Pogo Stick if you can't hold your breath for longer than a minute?

And the reason I was prompted to write this post- thanks to Sky Mall I can buy a board game to help Johnny Law pass the bar!

Passing The Bar Game- Help prepare your law student with these questions from real live and television..really?

Product Details:

The perfect gift for law studentsA great gift for law students, both throughout law school and to help prepare them for the Bar Examination. With “Passing the Bar” flashcards, your favorite law student will spend more time studying, in an enjoyable, fun setting. Fun for lawyers too!

The game includes 350 Mulitstate Bar Examination (“MBE”) Cards (featuring legal questions modeled after the MBE), and 100 Justice Cards (featuring celebrity run-ins with the law, movie quotes from notorious and gripping courtroom dramas, outrageous verdicts and alike). Additional game cards (sold separately) includes 450 questions from previous Bar Examinations, released by the NCBE.

We’re Not In Kansas Anymore

Actually, a more accurate title for this post would replace the state Kansas with Eugene, but Kansas felt more catchy so I’m sticking with it.

As mentioned in my only other post this week (yeah yeah, I had to pay closer attention to my real job all week), I’ve spent the last 7 days in Denver. Instead of doing something worthwhile like sharing some inspiring stories from the conference and the amazing educators who are members of our association, I’ve been lazy and shared some photos from my downtime during the trip.

One night of my trip, I hit up an awesome dueling piano bar (Fact- many people were a lot younger than us, and there were at least five bachelorette parties here). Yes I’m probably too old to enjoy places like this, but it was just what the doctor ordered.

Here comes the part explaining the title of this post. Towards the end of the night the musicians called all veterans on stage, which was awesome (until multiple girlfriends/groupies of the veterans hopped up on stage to steal attention). I was even more impressed when a gentleman found an American flag to wave while they all sang Proud To Be An American.

Half way through the song I turned to my friend who had just moved to Denver from Eugene and said, “We’re not in Kansas anymore..and you guys are loving it aren’t you!” For the record, they totally are.

I didn’t think to get my camera until the end of the song, but I’ve included it so you know I didn’t make this up.

Also, we found Denver’s version of Khloe Kardashian. This in itself was enough to call this a successful night. Just sayin’.

Dance Photo #1

Dance Photo #2

Tappin The Rockies

Well not really tappin’ the Rockies. I left Johnny Law at home alone last week with strict orders to get ahead on bar prep while I was gone for the annual conference my organization puts on. His response..well, after initial chuckles he came into use the bathroom while I was taking a shower and flushed the toilet which has a direct effect on the shower temperature..then he laughed at me again.

I’ve been busy and sleep deprived for  a while now, so don’t expect too much from this post. But I thought I would share a sampling of the photos I’ve taken while I’ve been here.

The 16th Street Mall area here in Denver is amazing. Its the perfect location for people attending events in the Conference Center to wander around into restaurants and pubs, and it has some of the best people watching I’ve ever seen. In fact, if the buildings weren’t so nice I’d swear I was in Eugene.

Exhibit A

Seattle has the pigs, Spokane has the ugly bears, CDA has moose, and naturally Denver has these.

I love Colorado Women

Johnny Law's Bike

Johnny Law's Stolen Bike

Backstory: When we moved to Eugene, my Dad gave Johnny Law his old bike. This bike was over 10 years old and had been thru a fire…yep, you read that correctly, it has survived a fire. But, someone in Eugene still thought it was worth stealing (it was definitely not). I nearly had myself convinced that Eugene was feeding stolen bikes to Denver until I realized the paint on this one looked too nice.

PS- Love Denver..

An Ode To Hoopfest

It was the summer of Oooh fiivve (sing to the tune of Summer of 69’)

Five years ago, in a house on Desmet Street off the Gonzaga campus, (most likely not suitable for living by anyone other than college students), I was “picked up” by Johnny Law.

..actually “picked up” isn’t the correct term. More like he talked to me between swigs of Jack Daniels and Coke (he had only recently discovered this combination) and I was happy to have someone to talk to since I only knew one other person at the party. By the end of the night he had my number, and I had explained to him what Hoopfest was—how could someone living in Spokane not have a clue about its most famous holiday coming up in one short week?

Growing up, Hoopfest was always my favorite event of the summer. One year I think I had something like 15 family members playing on different teams. That was the year my Dad tried to relive his youth and ended up with a bum ankle for the rest of the year. We were really all just happy that he and my uncle didn’t suffer heart attacks. I’ve played on a court within 50 yards of a knife fight, I’ve witnessed a mother run onto the court and punch an opponent of her son’s team, I’ve lost my temper and yelled at one of my opponents parents (I contest he yelled at me first)—this event really brings out the best in people. Those are all obviously extreme examples that the Hoopfest committee wouldn’t appreciate me reminding people of. For every crazy parent or person re-living their non-glory playing days, there are lots of great people coming together to put on the largest 3-on-3 event in the U.S.—it’s an awesome event. I love running into people I haven’t seen in years, I love watching my cousins play, I love watching my brothers and sister play—heck I love watching strangers play. As you can imagine, the people watching is also phenomenal.

A week later Johnny Law proceeded to follow myself and about 15 of my girlfriends from college around for the entire weekend. Since I had only seen him once before people were surprised at this development, but only a few of them were creeped out by our new ginger stalker. Although our team was at least 75% hungover come Sunday, we somehow managed to win the Losers Bracket (if you would’ve seen our ragtag bunch playing—this victory would amaze you). Michele also threw what I think was the best Hoopfest party ever.

The rest as they say—is history.

The next couple years after that Johnny Law and I played on a team together (we were terrible), and now each year this weekend rolls around I’m bummed out that I can’t go back and get my people-watching fix for the year. The ISTE Conference that my organization puts on falls on Hoopfest weekend every year so I have to put on my big girl pants on and go to work. This year I’ll be running around like a crazy person all weekend, and Johnny Law will be confined to our apartment cramming his mind with all that law garbage while a lot of our old buddies are officially kicking off summer.

To get my fix this year, I dug up some old videos one of our friends, Eric Lindstrom put together. He is becoming quite the filmmaker so I want to give him a little shoutout here if you haven’t heard of him yet. He’s getting married this year (congrats!) and he’s started up a company in San Diego called Faded Twilight Productions. If you’re in the San Diego or Spokane area you should check him out.

Enjoy!

Friends Don’t Let Friends Have Rattails

Warning: No rattails were harmed during the writing of this blog post.

Since I live a few hundred miles from my sister, we only really use text messages and Facebook to stay in touch on the most important things in life. On almost a weekly basis, I receive a text message or email from her with an update on our family or life in general that makes me laugh so hard I start to tear up a little bit.

Last month, it was rattails.

If you’re not familiar with rattails, see the picture below for a refresher (we’ve all seen them before), and you can also click this Wikipedia post for a full explanation.

It all began when my sister informed me that she saw a family at her local Wal Mart that was comprised of two rattails and two mullets. Now, my sister is much more fashionable than I am, but even I know rattails are out of style and need to be stopped. All great people, just unfortunate, outdated haircuts.

Full disclosure: While writing this post it occurred to me that I once was kissed by someone in elementary school who had a rattail. In my defense, it was on the bus, during the 80’s, and my bus route went through a trailer park which was completely beyond my control. There is also photo evidence of me having terrible haircuts throughout my childhood. I’m not here to judge, as humans we just need to help each other out.

I’m calling for an end to the rattail. But first, I’ll invite you to share your best rattail photos. It seems that everywhere I go these days, someone has just had an epic sighting, and I don’t want to miss out on any more of them. In fact, when Johnny Law and I went to the beach last weekend, I forgot to take photos of the gorgeous cloud-free day we had, but I took this one of a rait-tailer sharing the bar with us.

It's hard to see, but he's sportin' tail. There's also an attractive woman hanging all over him...he must be rich- there's no other logical explanation as to why she'd put up with that thing.

That same weekend, one of my friends snapped a photo at Winco of someone with a triple-rattail! These things must be stopped.

I’m unsure of what the prize will be, but email your submissions to barexamblog@gmail.com and I’ll share them with readers and give you photo credit or keep you anonymous- whichever you prefer.

United for an end to the rattail!