Alert The Authorities: Johnny Law’s Officially Done With Law School

If you see a delirious red headed man wandering the streets, look for my phone number on his t-shirt collar and I’ll come collect him. I don’t expect him to be alert by 5pm when I’m done with work, so if he’s sleeping just leave him where you found him until then.

For the sixth time time since starting law school, Johnny Law will celebrate his semester being complete, and at some point I will hear from him and welcome the brand new, much more relaxed man back into our house.

Instead of the infamous Top 10 list, I thought I’d do a brief recap of Johnny Law’s Law School career by the numbers. Today marks his final exam, so without imposing too large of a jinx, I think we’re ready to put law school in the books.

*These figures are based off of my own rough estimates only.

Cups of Coffee: 2,000+ (Now takes a Thermos to school)

Days In Class: 544

Mornings Up Before 6am For The Legal Ballers Association: 120

Slurpee Study Breaks: 61

Debates with classmates over organic farming: 55

Walks over the Autzen Bridge after 2am: 25

Trips To/From Spokane: 15

Pub Trivia Championships: 9

Pairs of flip flops: 3

Bikes Stolen: 2

Bike Accidents: 2 (In the same week. The week prior to our wedding.)

Vandalized Stop Signs: 1

Marriages: 1

Nights spent “solving the world’s problems”: Too many to count


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